Sunday, June 5, 2011

Summer already

First week of June and have already experienced 100 temps - needless to say I have been inside.  Heat and humidity are not fibro's friend.  Well nothing is a friend to fibro, but when you're feeling cold - at least you can add clothes!  How is everyone keeping cool and keeping the swelling down?  I'm dreading the stress of work this week, but thankful that I have a job.  Kids have their last week of school.  Testing is already done so now they're mainly goofing off - wish I could!  NBA finals on TV.  I was hoping the Chicago Bulls would be playing but now I'm hoping Dirk gets his ring (for those not NBA fans that would be I'm rooting for the Dallas Mavs).  Youngest right now is playing Diego on the Wii - I got the game recording!  ☺ Well hope everyone has a great week!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Memorial Weekend

First I want to wish everyone a Happy Memorial Day, especially our military and their families for all they do for our country.  I can not say enough how much your service is appreciated.  For me long weekends can be good and restful and also stressful.  With the fibro, I don't have the energy sometimes to do the things my kids would like me to do for them.  And with me being the only income in a very costly economy, I can't buy the things my kids want many times, which hurts.  What really hurts is when they rather be over at their grandparents (either set) rather than being home.  And I know me stressing out over stuff is a part of it but sometimes it feels like it's me personally.  So holidays in general are tough for me.  Maybe I should just be at work instead.  At least then I would have a reason why I don't see them.  Just hope by me going back to school this fall and then possibly going to graduate school, I can then earn more money to do more things with them.  At the least, by finishing my BA at the minimum, maybe just having the satisfaction of finishing what I started almost 20 years ago will have an impact on how my kids feel about me.  And how I feel about myself, which right now I feel pretty low.  Just hard to keep it all together and feeling like I don't have much support.  Facebook has my only friends and my husband is my only emotional support.  He's been going thru depression too though so it's been someone with chronic fibro/depression trying to help someone with depression - tough!  But then I go back to being grateful, like for my opening sentence.  Our military gives us the freedom to speak, freedom to live life so then how can I feel so down when there are those who have lost their mom and dad.  Those that are overseas instead of seeing their family at all.  So I guess I'm a lucky girl afterall.  God bless my family and friends and God bless the USA.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Finally get enrolled in UALR.  Even though I have heard unsupportive comments from family and friends/associates, I've also heard encouraging comments from my husband, kids and some other friends/associates.   Then some haven't commented at all.  That's ok - not my frustration.  What gets me is it's only MAY - go to sign up for FALL classes, and all the ones I need are FULL - no online classes open, and only 1 night class I can take.  The other "possibility" is in Benton, which is at least 30 minutes from work if you drive (not ride the bus) and an hour away from the house.  The classes I need are either full or during the day.  I'm so frustrated and with me being a Senior, at this rate, I won't get to finish by next Spring as I should be able to do.  Please say a prayer that I can get things worked out.  Sometimes the bad luck I have could go - anywhere but here!!  UGH!!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

A new chapter

Well I haven't wrote in a while. Ok I guess since no one is following it. Decided to go back to UALR to finish my BA in Psychology. I meet with the department chair on Tuesday to find out exactly how many classes I have to take. I'm thinking around 10 but might also have to take more "foreign language" although sign language counts. So if anyone reads this and knows ASL well, let me know! Then I might look into different masters programs. I need to do something different than what I'm doing now. The stress of my current job and the issues surrounding it is putting a toil on my health, making me more crazy than what I already am!! Yes, I didn't know that was possible either!! So say a prayer for me as I go down this journey. Also trying to encourage my husband to go to college. He is more receptive than he has been in years past. I just hope he continues feeling that as I get him to study for the Compass test. I didn't even know there was such thing!! So that's been my news in a nutshell. Still dealing with the fibro, but sometimes you just have to get away, at least for a little while, from talking about it. It's been around me for a long time and I expect it's going to stay for a long time. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Made it to the weekend

Got home yesterday and went straight to bed.  Seventeen hours later I'm up and now on the computer.  Feels like how a normal person would feel after 8-10 hours of sleep.  Work is one of those necessary things you have to do - but then your free time is sleeping or hurting or feeling depressed or all of the above, so work seems to take everything - your work time and your free time.  It's April - weather here is pretty.  Haven't been outside but I can see the sun peeking in the windows.  How does everyone that work, have a family, and have fibro balance their sleep?  I would love to hear every one's thoughts on this.  Tell everyone you know to come to this blog and post their comments.  The more the merrier!!  Thanks guys!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The end of the month

I work in accounts receivable so every "end of the month" is stressful.  Today was a 12 hour day.  It's long for anyone, but factor in fibromyalgia and especially chronic fatigue syndrome and it's more than tough.  And will have to be back at work in a matter of hours, yet I'm here at the computer.  My muscles are tense, even after a shower, and I don't want to "waste my time" sleeping, rather be playing on the computer!  But I also wanted to mention is tomorrow is wear blue for Autism.  I used to do care for a child with Autism, a sweet boy who loved playing the drums.  He was special in many ways.  A few years ago I saw him, now over 6 feet and a grown man, but still had the same sweet face.  There are so many forms of Autism but more research is needed, just like in so many other different medical fields.  It's important to support all of it, even if someone you personally know doesn't have it.  Besides that, just wish tomorrow was a "holiday" for us accounting people but alas, it's not so Happy April Fool's Day and I'll write again soon!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The start of the blog

Trying to start a blog.  Thought it might be cool for other crazy fibro people, or just crazy people in general, to share.  My life exists around my family (husband, 4 kids, and 1 pug plus extended family) and work and the fibro and chronic fatigue and depression and anxiety, etc....  It's always something.  And always something going on at home.  How could it not be with a husband, 4 kids, and a pug?  Hmmm...... not possible.  Not the best writer in the world, but better at writing than I am at talking.  I am an only child.  The lonely only, which is why I am glad to have 4 children.  Three boys and 1 girl.  Fibro has been a part of my life for a long time.  I had mono as a teenager and never felt the same after that.  Never had my energy back.  Now I'm working crazy hours and I feel crazy anyway, and I just had my birthday, which of course never makes you feel young, but I'm glad to have made it another year.  I hope to post about my daily struggles, my life, and hopefully some information about fibro from websites or things I find on my own about living with fibromyalgia, depression, chronic fatigue, and maybe other things.  Just comment if you want to talk about something.  Just make things PG please.  This entry is short and sweet, sort of lack luster, but hopefully I can start this and it be a way to 1) make me feel better 2) help someone who feels as crazy as I do and 3) why not - lol.  Hope everyone is doing well.  ((((hugs))))